I, the Ugly

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Yesterday, I became a monster…
all the things I thought
I had left behind.
Afterwards, I felt ashamed,
confused as to why I
exploded in anger and resentment.

Is there a cesspool of ugly
deep within us all
waiting to erupt,
triggered by fear or fatigue?
How is it that we can not
rid ourselves of this seed of woe?

I pour love and light into
this pit of darkness
until I am sure it is gone,
yet sooner or later,
the ugly appears again
sending me running to the
arms of our Creator
asking for help and comfort.
I wonder if this is why
we have the Darkness…to
help us remember,
to remind us when
we stray too far?

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13 Responses to I, the Ugly

  1. Pingback: Eu, a Feia | Fonte de Inspiração

  2. tomfitz says:

    Really excellent. Paul’s dilemma shared by all of us.

    Like

  3. Line says:

    First of all, the image is absolutely magnificent!! I was completely taken aback when I opened your site! WOW! Secondly, I think we can all relate to the poem, I mean we are not only soul, right? Our soul is our essence, our eternity, our divinity, but we are also body, emotions, hormones, egos, temperament, and I think it is okay to accept that and forgive ourselves for our little eruptions. We aren’t pure soul yet, and it is The Great Divine, that chose to let us materialize in these bodies. I don’t think you are a monster, I just think you are human 🙂 I loved the poem 🙂 Thank you!

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    • Pat Cegan says:

      Well stated, full of compassion and wisdom. I am normally such a peaceful person that it surprised me how quickly the storm came. Fortunately, it passed just as quickly so there is hope after all. Hugs, pat

      Like

  4. viewpacific says:

    Oh, my dear, I can hear you suffer .
    I think it was Zen teacher Ezra Bayda who said we never can get rid of these things which affected us in our past. We can, however get to where they don’t affect us.
    https://mettarefuge.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/what-is-our-life-about-poem-and-music/

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    • Pat Cegan says:

      Lovely poem in response to mine. Thank you for sharing it. It is so true that we need to surrender to whatever Creator puts in our path…not always easy, of course, but always wise. hugs, pat.

      Like

  5. keelymyles says:

    It’s in part because God wants us to understand grace, mercy and unconditional love… If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need to receive any of these. Once we glimpse that we have this need, we can then turn and give grace and mercy and love to those around us who are also imperfect. It is definitely one of the harder things to grasp within ourselves.

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  6. Oh dear Pat I know that feeling! It is a sad truth that we all have two sides and however we try there are some times when the monster comes out!
    Glad you are over it now.

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  7. currankentucky says:

    We need the opposing to appreciate the good.

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  8. There will always be those opposing conditions, whether for words or actions. Otherwise, there would be no way to reference each one’s personal perception of perfect worlds. Even God got torqued off enough to flood the known world. And we are only human. Consider yourself forgiven for being human. Peace, Pat.

    Like

  9. He made us all with the potential for ugly and beauty

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