Pat Cegan

Never Forgive

“I do not want to forgive.”
What is it like to not only
not be able to forgive, but
to declare that one does not
ever want to forgive? How
heavy a burden that must be
to carry for we must eventually
forgive. This anchor impedes our
every step, keeping us locked
in a point of time that turns
our heart into a stone.

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14 comments

  4. Len, if you lost your daughter only 17 months ago, you are light years ahead of most people on the path of forgiveness. Grief triggers many emotions, one of which is anger. The fact that you are asking for help in forgiving this man is a huge step. Be kind to yourself. When the anger crops up again, stop, breath slowly and deeply and bless yourself, for it is you who will benefit from eventually reaching the stage of being able to forgive him. And you will for it is your intention. I surround you with much love and light and do the same for this situation and especially for your daughter. I honor you before Source for having such a loving heart that you want to forgive. a special hug coming your way, pat

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  7. Pat, I’ve experienced that whenever I have said to myself that I would not forgive someone, I am unable to sustain that hatred for too long. Years later when I meet that person, the need for forgiveness doesn’t arise because with time, the root cause has faded away.
    But I do realize that to make those root causes disappear with time, time is not enough. We have to fill that time with positive experiences. So basically, it is not time that helps me overcome hurt, but positive experiences. I think the same could apply to many others. Which brings me back to my belief that one of the keys to happiness is to keep one’s body, mind and soul engaged.

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  8. Reblogged this on Living Well and commented:
    it is difficult to forgive

    when you know the person who caused you harm

    feels righteous or justified in their treatment of you

    but then, you realize

    they have to bear the consequences
    of that messed up thinking.

    so really, their best punishment is being them

    and considering what that entails

    justice is served

    and forgiveness follows upon closure

    sometimes,

    you just have to make your own victory
    and walk away

    living well
    after all
    is the best revenge

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  9. Bible says we must forgive to be forgiven..I struggle to this day with unforgivenss towards the man that murdered my daughter. I think I have prayed about a million times and feel good afterwards then the anger raises its ugly head and I have to start over talk about backsliding!

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    • Sometimes, we must peal the lesson away one bit at a time. These spiral lessons come again and again to help us learn to a greater depth. I also spent years trying to forgive someone. Then one day I asked for the key to letting go of the hurt and anger. A single word in neon lights floated across my mind’s eye. I pondered this word for a very long time before I finally arrived at peace. That word was “Compassion.” May you find the peace that you long for. love and much light, pat

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      • Thank you Pat for the word I shall ponder on it as well, so happy you have found your peace..I am sure mine will come in time it has been 17 months so still fresh.Again thank You for your encouragement and support..Love xx~~Len

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