Me Hating Me

The backward magnet of time
pulls me away from now
luring me with false memories
squandered hope.

I pick at scars until they bleed
remember every little hurt
unkind word, failure of mine.
I remember all the falls I made
as a toddler learning to walk.
How harsh a judge am I.

I am the queen of self-loathing
a black belt of self-hate.
How dare you
compliment me.

God loves me, you say.
Could this be true?
Yes, God loves us until
we learn to love ourselves.
He patiently shows us
how beautifully He made us
polished each facet of our
diamond soul.

My heart beats with hope…
God loves me?
God loves me!

I sit by the pond
telling the woman
floating on the surface
God loves me!
She smiles and says,
I knew it all along
then disappears in the ripple
fashioned by a summer breeze.

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6 Responses to Me Hating Me

  1. Sammy Scoops says:

    I really liked it, and I’m not even religious, and I only bring that up, not to stir the pot so to say, but to say what a compliment that is coming from me seeing as typically I would be turned off by it. Thanks for sharing


  2. Pat, I think this is almost a universal self-opinion although I do know people who missed having it. There are of course many opinions for why, but it sounds as if you have found your source of comfort. I, too have experienced it and have overcome it though I do threaten within myself at times to give in to it again. But I don’t believe that too much self-adulation is good for the soul, so it is sometimes a matter of finding the correct balance that allows us to live as God would have us be. He does want us to love ourselves after all, He is the creator but he loves humility and teaches us to observe it in all we do. God Bless.


  3. You can always say your ugly but at the end of the day you have to deal with and stay with you and only you


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