Meet the real Granny, my maternal grandmother. She was a real country philosopher and she loved life.
Granny in the Outhouse
“Now, I don’t know which of you young’uns put that snake in the outhouse, but if I poop my drawers before you get rid of the snake, I’m gonna’ cut me a switch, and tan yer hide!”
Granny on Riding the Billy Goat
“Now, don’t ya’ll come screamin’ to me when that ornery goat butts you. He ain’t no horsey you can ride, so leave that fool critter alone!” But the kids could never resist a dare, so it wasn’t long before one would dare the other to climb on top of the goat. They’s say, “I double-dog-dare you to ride that there goat ’til I count to 10. If ya’ do, I’ll do yer chores tonight.” If was a safe bet because no one stayed on very long. If they weren’t fast in scrambling away, they were sure to be butted by the goat they tormented regularly.
Granny on Birthing at Home
“If you ask me, and even if you don’t, I’ll tell ya’, a young’un ought to come into this world with his family nearby. All my young’uns was born in the middle of my bed, and they knew from the moment they came into this world that there was a lot of folks glad that they come. This business of a woman going to the hospital and being treated like she was sick, is just plain nonsense. Birthin’ is the most natural and beautiful thing on this green earth. And a gal needs to be with them that love her, and not a bunch of strangers who grab that young’un away before her milk’s even come down!”